Trying to explain life to your kids is like trying to explain water to a fish: they're too immersed in it to see it for what it is.
Such is the case with my son who's at that awkward age where he's trying to figure out who he is and perhaps more importantly, how he wants to project himself to others. Now, you and I know that that's going to be an ongoing process and one that we all have to go through and figure out for ourselves. But still, as his mother, I would hope I could give him some pointers along the way. A little insight if you will, into the complicated world of intrapersonal dynamics.
Yet try as I might, I just can't seem to convince him that I really do know best. He wants to believe me and follow my lead but peer pressure is a tough adversary to overcome and he's feeling the same need to be accepted that I remember from those days. We want to fit in, we want to be liked and sometimes that means going along with the crowd even though that's not really where we want to go at all. In retrospect, we always see the error of our ways but at the time... man, at the time we just want to feel like we belong.
So, what's all this got to do with a movie review?
Well, what I've discovered is that my son is a visual person (as are most men) and he tends to relate to things better when it's coming from someone who's not a grownup - i.e., someone who looks and acts a little more like him. So, being the pop culture fanatic that I am, I turned to the classics for a little help.
If you flip back through those old VHS tapes (you remember those don't you?) you'll likely find a copy of The Breakfast Club, the 1985 sleeper hit that depicted coming-of-age as accurately as you're ever going to find it.
Directed by John Hughes, the movie featured Ally Sheedy, Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Judd Nelson and Molly Ringwald - five of the then soon-to-be Brat Pack members who later became well known for flicks such as St. Elmo's Fire and About Last Night. Yet, though I remember those equally impressive credits, it's The Breakfast Club that I'll most remember them for, if only because the characters all hit so close to home.
Our story begins with 5 high school students arriving for detention early Saturday morning: Claire Standish the rich-girl princess (Ringwald), John Bender the criminal/delinquent (Nelson) , Brian Johnson the brainy nerd (Hall), Andrew Clark the jock (Estevez) and Allison Reynolds the basket case (Sheedy). Each has come to detention for a different reason and as the story unfolds, we gain a much deeper insight into the human psyche than we might have expected.
Initially, the five acknowledge the obvious social status discrepancies and try to stay to themselves but it's not long before Bender forces them into a confrontation with their own private demons. He's crude, obnoxious and absolutely relentless yet, when he's done, you can't help but love him:
Bender: Uh, Sporto?
Andrew: What?!
Bender: You get along with your parents?
Andrew: Well.. if I say yes, I'm an idiot right?
Bender: You're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, well you're a liar too.
As if the tense and sometimes hostile dynamics between the five aren't enough, there's also the bully-of-a-principal Richard Vernon (Paul Gleason) who seems to thrive on the misery of his detention attendees. He has a particular itch for Bender and takes great pleasure in putting our beloved delinquent in his place:
Vernon to Andrew: You think he's funny? You think this is cute? You think he's "bitchin," is that it? Let me tell you something. Look at him - he's a bum. You want to see something funny? You go visit John Bender in five years. You'll see how g*******d funny he is!"
Not to be outdone, Bender is happy how to dish it right back:
Vernon to Bender: What if your home... what if your family... what if your *dope* was on fire?
Bender: Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear.
It's not long before you begin to realize that maybe everyone isn't as comfortable in their skin as they'd like you to believe. Our princess Claire for example, admits that she doesn't talk to "certain people" because her friends expect her not too. She hates it, but that's just the way things are. Andrew's humiliating "prank" on a weaker student got out of hand and ended up causing actually injury to the other student. The worst part about it Andrew confesses, is that he only did it to impress his friends and gain respect from his father. Allison is in detention because she has nothing better to do but it quickly becomes clear that the truth is, she's tired of being alone.
Besides being funny, The Breakfast Club offers a really good look at how our personalities emerge. Whether its abuse, neglect, peer pressure or some other outside interference, we learn at an early age to adapt and adjust to the demands we're confronted with. For some, that response might be angry and mean (Bender) while others simply withdraw completely (Allison). But that doesn't mean we don't have anything to say. We're just looking for someone who will listen.
Be warned, The Breakfast Club is full of language and not suitable for the very young. But for the older kids, it offers a great opportunity to see things from someone else's point of view. These kids are not so different after all and it doesn't matter that one's a bully or a princess or a jock. In the end, they're all really the same and the sooner they learn to be true to themselves, the sooner they'll find the happiness they so desperately seek.
It is this lesson that I want to pass along to my son. And now that I think about it, it wouldn't hurt for the rest of us to be reminded again from time to time. Because while high school may have come and gone years ago, many of those personalities seem to still be going strong. Ironic isn't it, that a fictional group of high school students might have had the answer all along?
Dear Mr. Vernon,
We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is
a brain...
and an athlete...
and a basket case...
a princess...
and a criminal...
Does that answer your question?
Sincerely yours,
The Breakfast Club
I couldn't have said it better myself.
